Japanese Samurai

So I really have nothing to write about. At all. So, in order to have something to write about, I'm taking the first thing that this came up with and going with it.

I've had only one up close and personal experience with samurai. I was in an odd store in Old Town Sacramento, and the wall behind the counter was full of war helmets, shields, swords, daggers, and other historical blades. Also, there was a full-blown samurai armor suit, the mask, the katana, and all. The price tag was clearly visible and read, "$1700." I waited in anticipation for someone to walk in, point up to the thing, and say,

"Hi, could I have that samurai armor?"

"Yes, of course. Let me get a ladder and three more full-grown men to hoist it down from off the wall."

"Thank you."

"And would you like that in a plastic or paper bag?"

"Paper, please."

After which the guy would walk out of the store into the street, in complete samurai attire, and would look entirely menacing until the cops showed up.

Historically, though, samurai were the cops. In ancient Japan they were the knights of their respective shoguns, carrying out the work that they were asked. They honored the bushido way, which dictates bravery - the stupid kind of bravery. The kind of bravery that mandates you attack the enemy, even if they have flamethrowers and nuclear weapons. They were also excellent poets, which brings to mind a wonderful mental image of a samurai, hacking to death a poor not-so-innocent enemy, reciting a haiku about blood. 

Of course, if they failed what they did, they were mandated by the bushido tradition to commit seppuku, ritual suicide. They would stab their special ceremonial sword (they had a sword for everything) into their gut, twisting it around in their innards. They were not allowed to show any form of pain, and they had to fall forward onto their sword. Then a fellow samurai would sever the head from the body, thus completing the task.

The days of samurai are long gone, but I think it would be cool if the samurai were the chief law enforcers. It's one thing if you go over the speed limit and a chubby guy with donuts comes out and talks to you; it's another if you get pulled over and a professional samurai, complete with the intimidating face mask, asks you if you know why you're getting a ticket. Just a thought.

~Fernando

P.S. Spread the word! Start the wave of Samurai!